Get Sick; Get Attitude

Staying in bed with a cold or the flu is the responsible thing to do. It’s win-win for you as an individual and for the common good. This is not self-indulgence, it’s a moral obligation to practice public health safety. Therefore, who could deny your right to a few human comforts in your sickbed as you courageously shield your friends and loved ones from contagious germs?

Taking to one’s bed is not to be done without sufficient thought. Plenty of pillows for propping various aching parts are essential. A large pot of constantly heated chicken soup within readily easy access is recommended, unless you prefer cold vodka. Be sure to have a supply of tissues and other paper necessities. This could be the only occasion for the crocheted tissue box cover your great-aunt gave you for your birthday eight years ago, the one you didn’t dare throw out. A small radio or TV might ease your plight. If you are a genealogist, have about ten of the latest detective novels at hand. Cough syrup or Fisherman’s Friend may help minimize your suffering and maximize your dozy attention span. When the bedside table gets overloaded, one of those folding bed trays is a big help. You might have to go shopping first.

Because you are sick and incapable of performing normal domestic chores, it’s only common sense to stock a few items that instill mental well-being as well as encourage a feeble appetite. Positive thoughts. Some people like chocolates or macadamia nuts; others might like a special pizza or pastry. Portable phones or cell phones and laptops are only recommended for dialling take-out delivery, because above all, you must not whine to those who support your selfless isolation. It’s OK to fall asleep a lot.

So for all those coughing, sneezing people on the subway and my last airline flights: thanks a lot for the souvenir. Go home and go to bed. You’ll like it if you do it right.